How to Build Trust With Your Body After Years of Fighting It
If you have spent years fighting your body, building trust with it can feel strange, uncomfortable, or even impossible.
Maybe you have ignored hunger, pushed through exhaustion, criticised your reflection, forced your body to change, or treated its needs as inconvenient. Maybe your body has felt like something to monitor, control, shrink, fix, punish or hide.
If that is familiar, you are not broken. You may have learned to relate to your body through fear, shame, survival or control. And while those patterns may have once helped you cope, they can also make it hard to feel safe in your own skin.
The good news is that body trust can be rebuilt gently. Not through forcing body positivity. Not through pretending everything feels fine. But through small, repeated acts of care.
What does body trust mean?
Body trust means learning to listen to your body with curiosity instead of criticism. It may include noticing hunger, fullness, tiredness, sensory needs, emotions, pain, stress, or the need for rest. It also means responding to those signals with care, rather than judgement.
For people recovering from eating disorders, disordered eating, trauma, anxiety or body image distress, this can take time. If your body has felt unsafe for years, trust will not return just because someone tells you to “listen to your body.”
You may need to go slowly. That is okay.
Start with body neutrality
You do not have to love your body to begin treating it with respect. Body neutrality can be a gentler starting point. Instead of trying to feel positive about your appearance, you might practise statements like:
“My body deserves food, even when I feel uncomfortable.”
“I can care for my body without liking how it looks today.”
“My body is not the enemy.”
“I do not have to punish my body for changing.”
“I can take one small step toward care.”
This matters because many people wait until they feel confident before they allow themselves to eat, rest, dress comfortably, attend social events or seek support. But confidence is not the entry requirement for care.
Rebuild trust through small promises
Body trust grows when you repeatedly show your body that you will not abandon it.
That might look like eating regularly, resting when exhausted, wearing clothes that fit comfortably, reducing body checking, taking medication as prescribed, attending medical appointments, or stepping away from conversations that trigger shame.
These small actions communicate: “I am learning to look after you.”
At first, this may feel unfamiliar. Eating disorder thoughts, perfectionism, trauma responses or shame may tell you that care is “too much,” “lazy,” “weak,” or “not deserved.” But caring for your body is not giving up. It is recovery.
Make room for grief
Rebuilding body trust can bring up grief. You may grieve the years spent fighting your body. You may grieve clothes that no longer fit, time lost to food rules, or the version of yourself who believed shrinking would finally bring safety.
Grief does not mean you are going backwards. It often means you are beginning to understand what the eating disorder, body shame or self-criticism has cost you.
You can be grateful for recovery and still feel sad. You can want freedom and still feel scared. Both can be true.
You do not have to do this alone
Building trust with your body is not about one perfect mindset shift. It is a practice. It often involves support, patience, and a lot of self-compassion.
At recoverED Clinic, we support adults experiencing eating disorders, disordered eating, body image concerns, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, anxiety, trauma and neurodivergence. Our approach is compassionate, trauma-informed, neuroaffirming and focused on helping you build a safer relationship with food, your body and your life.
You are welcome to contact us to discuss whether our approach may be the right fit. We offer a 15-minute free phone call with one of our psychologists, to discuss your needs and suitability to our services.
Helpful external resources:
Disclaimer
This blog is for general educational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, diagnostic, or therapeutic advice. It should not be relied upon as a substitute for personalised care from a qualified health professional.
Reading this blog does not create a psychologist–client relationship with recoverED Clinic or its clinicians. If you have concerns about your mental health, eating behaviours, physical health, or safety, please seek professional support. In an emergency, call 000 or attend your nearest emergency department. You can access a list of Australian crisis Helpines here.
This blog was created with the support of AI tools for clarity and structure and has been reviewed and edited by our team.
