Perfectionism and Mental Health: When High Standards Become Harmful
Perfectionism is a behaviour that leads a person to set extremely high standards, often unrealistic ones. Very often, these standards become so rigid that they interfere with daily life, creating anxiety, stress, and chronic dissatisfaction.
Of course, we all like the idea of doing things to the best of our abilities and possibilities. The problem arises when these standards become too rigid and do not allow us to accept our limits.
For some people, perfectionism may be caused by experiences that led them to feel the need to demonstrate their value only by achieving perfect results. In childhood, this is often perceived as the only way to receive affection or validation from adults. Over time, this belief can become deeply internalised.
All of this leads to a strong desire for control, which is ultimately impossible to achieve. This need for control has the specific aim of being perceived as impeccable, therefore lovable, but only for how others want us to be. When we feel powerless in the face of life’s uncertainties, having control can create a delusion of safety.
Perfectionism hinders our self esteem. It interfers with our ability to evaluate ourselves for who we truly are, including our limits. With perfectionism, our sense of worth becomes dependent on performance rather than authenticity.
There is also a strong social component that keeps perfectionism going. We live in a culture that validates success. We often forget that failing and making mistakes are a natural part of every journey. The message we receive, however, is that if we make mistakes, we are inferior to others.
Perfection, however, does not exist. Trying to reach it at all costs can lead to a series of negative consequences. First of all, it is exhausting. When we do not allow ourselves to be imperfect, we risk entering a freezing state. This paralysis leads to ongoing procrastination, which ironically makes us feel more stressed rather than less.
Accepting our limits is fundamental. It does not mean giving up on improving ourselves, but rather recognising that our journey will include mistakes. It is precisely through mistakes that we can grow and improve.
People who are perfectionistic tend to live in constant competition with others, striving to be better or to feel approved. In this way, the focus remains only on achieving results rather than building meaningful and growth oriented connections with others. Yet it is exactly these moments of authenticity and vulnerability that allow us to connect deeply with others.
People who struggle with disordered eating or body image difficulties often show perfecitonistic traits. Wanting to achieve the '“perfect” body, imposing very strict and rigid dietary rules and perceiving themselves as having failed if they break one of these rules. Addressing perfectionism in therapy is therefore an important part of supporting recovery from eating disorders, helping individuals develop self compassion, flexibility, and a healthier relationship with their bodies.
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Note: The information provided in this blog is for educational purposes only and is NOT intended as medical /psychological advice. Please consult a healthcare professional for personalised guidance.
This article was created with the support of AI tools to help with clarity and structure. All content reflects the professional knowledge and clinical judgement of the authors.
