Why the Way Our Mums Talk About Their Bodies Matters

Some of us may remember little moments growing up, our mum tugging at her jeans in the mirror, sighing about needing to “lose a few kilos,” or swearing that Monday would be the start of a brand-new diet. At the time, it may have seemed harmless or even “just what women do.” But as an eating disorder psychologist, I can tell you: those comments matter. A lot.

Children aren’t just listening, they’re absorbing body talk, emotionally storing it, and replaying it later. When a parent talks negatively about their own body, pinching the stomach, obsessing over calories, or labelling food as “good” or “bad”. Kids don’t just hear the words, they internalise the scripts about how bodies should look, how we’re “supposed” to eat, and how much our worth depends on appearance.

Want proof of how powerful body talk can be? This Dove campaign nails it:

This video reminds us that kids’ beauty beliefs begin at home. A parent’s saying, laughing, or self-criticism can shape a child's entire relationship with their body, and that influence lasts for years and sometimes generations.

Almond Mums & Ingredient Households

Social media has brought new (and kind of funny, but also sad) names for old patterns, like “almond mums.” You know the vibe: the parent who suggests you “just eat a handful of almonds” when you’re starving, because they’re stuck in diet culture survival mode. It’s not just a meme; it reflects a mindset where restriction is normalised, and hunger isn’t trusted. Kids raised in this environment may learn to distrust their own bodies and ignore their biological needs. Spoiler: that’s a fast track to disordered eating.

Then there are “ingredient households.” These are the kitchens with no actual snacks, just flour, oats, raw chicken, and maybe a rogue tin of chickpeas. Sure, technically, food is there, but nothing feels safe, accessible, or fun. For kids, that can mean associating food with work, guilt, or scarcity instead of nourishment and joy. It can also drive secretive eating or bingeing once “forbidden” foods are finally within reach.

Both almond mums and ingredient households may seem harmless on the surface, but they quietly reinforce diet culture messages: that food is the enemy, that hunger should be controlled, and that bodies are only worthy when they’re small.

The Research Doesn’t Lie

Here’s the kicker: research shows parental body dissatisfaction is strongly linked to kids developing their own body image struggles. 50% of parents who are dissatisfied with their bodies have children who report body dissatisfaction by adolescence. In fact, research from the Journal of Adolescent Health found that kids whose parents dieted were significantly more likely to diet themselves, and those behaviours often start shockingly early, sometimes as young as age 8. In other words, if Mum’s mirror talk is full of criticism, her children are more likely to inherit the same inner critic. And we know where that can lead: disordered eating, low self-esteem, and a lifelong battle with body trust.

Breaking the Cycle

Now, none of this is about blame. Our mums didn’t invent diet culture or fat phobia; they inherited it too. Many were raised in a world where a woman’s value was measured by her dress size, and that “summer body” messaging wasn’t exactly balanced or kind. But here’s the hopeful part: cycles can be broken. When parents model body acceptance, eating dessert without guilt, moving for joy, not punishment, or celebrating what bodies do instead of how they look, kids notice. They grow up seeing food as fuel and joy, not a moral test. They learn that their body is a home to be cared for, not a problem to be solved.

So next time you hear yourself saying, “I feel so gross in this outfit,” pause and reframe it to: “This outfit isn’t my best fit today, but my body is still amazing.” Those tiny shifts in language? They plant seeds of compassion.

Bottom line: The way we talk about our bodies becomes part of someone else’s inner voice. Choose kindness, it matters more than you know.

Ready to Break the Cycle?

If you’ve struggled with your own body image and you’re ready to break the cycle for yourself and your family, you don’t have to do it alone. As Health at Every Size psychologists, we support people all across Australia through compassionate and evidence-based care.

Contact us today, because you deserve help at any size, and your story matters.